Daily Cost of Lucas Oil Stadium

I don't mean to throw cold water over all of the euphoria of our new stadium, but I thought you might find it interesting to know just what our new pile of bricks and steel is going to cost the citizens of metropolitan Indy EVERY day for the next 30 years.

The Star reported today that the projected amount that will be borrowed upon completion of the stadium is $704 million and the interest rate on the bonds will be 4.23%. I wish I could get a rate like that on my house, but what the heck.

So, how much is it going to cost us? Well, when we pay all of the principle & interest and assuming we never re-finance it like the RCA Dome, the total payments will be $1,243,806,000 plus change. That will amount to $113,589.00 per day. But wait, don't forget the annual maintenance cost of $10 million...like Bart did when he sold the deal to the taxpayers. That will ad another $27,397.00 daily for a total of $140,986.00 per day! Thank goodness the city doesn't pay property taxes. If it did under Governor Daniels new property tax formula it would cost an additional $57,535 per day but in reality that cost will just be shifted to Marion County taxpayers.

What really irks me is that Jimmy Irsay will pay nothing unless he dines at St. Elmo's and yet he will receive 100% of the revenue from Colts games and 50% of the net revenue for all non-Colts events.

To pay for all of this, the city will primarily rely on the 2% restaurant tax. In other words, we can pay for it if every man, woman, and child in Central Indiana buys a value meal at McDonald's everyday for the next thirty years. The architects must have already been aware of this. All of the new seats in the stadium are designed to accommodate overweight people. Brilliant! Let's just make sure there are extra EMT's to handle the increased heart attack rate during games!

How Did IU Ever Hire Sampson?

First of all, if Indiana University has ever been guilty of anything it would be its resistance to "change". And that thinking has served it well for over 175 years with leaders like Bryan, Jordan, Wells, and Ryan. It has been blessed with great faculty who have done ground-breaking research in biology, chemistry, physics, and human sexual behavior(I had to throw that in).

The Athletic Department has distinguished itself until recently as one of the finest in the country. Doc Councilman did not lose a Big Ten meet in over a decade and won seven consecutive NCAA titles before he swam the English Channel at 66 years of age(a record at the time). Branch McCracken led the Hurryin' Hoosiers to two NCAA basketball championships, Jerry Yeagley started a soccer club in 1963 which eventually led to six NCAA titles, and everyone remembers Bobby winning three NCAA championships. As far as I know, none of these men ever broke the rules.

So, where in Heaven's Name did things go awry?

Well, someone thought it would be good to "change" things at IU. It all started innocently when Thomas Ehrlich was named president of the university. He had a distinguished academic background and was hired to raise the bar on IU's somewhat mediocre academic ranking. Well, he clashed with Bobby. Ehrlich was right, but he was messing with the status quo. To make a long story short, Ehrlich quit rather than lock horns with Knight. Enter Myles Brand as the new president. He basically had the same mission as Ehrlich, but he was not to be intimidated by a basketball coach and Bobby was canned-and rightfully so. However, by now things were so broken between the athletic department, the university, and the citizens of Indiana, Brand resigned to take over the NCAA in Indianapolis.

Indiana University became a ship without a compass. It also needed to hire a new A.D.(Bobby got him canned, too). IU began to drift. No one was at the helm. We were left with a miserable football program that couldn't get 25,000 fannies in the stands and the basketball program was stuck with a coach who was thrown in the ocean but had not yet learned to swim with the sharks.

Ticket sales and all related revenue tanked. The athletic department was in the red. To give you some perspective, IU's annual budget is one third the size ($32 million vs. $100+ million) of Michigan and Ohio State's annual largess. Something had to "change" and remember, Bloomington doesn't like "change".

Well, someone thought it would be a good idea to hire a new president from an athletically oriented state like Florida, home of "there are no rules". Down south the battle cry is "Just win", even if the players are illiterate thugs. Enter Adam Herbert from the Sunshine State as the new president of IU. President Herbert's first act as president was to get on a plane and go back to Florida and wait on the paychecks to arrive in the mail. In the meantime, while Herbert was on a permanent vacation in Florida, Rick Greenspan was hired as the athletic director. His mantra was to bring in the bucks. Now that we have a motive, we need someone to commit the crime. Allow me to introduce Kelvin Sampson as the new basketball coach and new savior of the revenue stream for Indiana University Athletics. You can read the rest of that story in the paper.

It can be fixed. But first, we need to "change" it back to the way it used to be. IU used to stand for something...namely integrity and honesty. The alumni want to be proud again...we want our IU heritage of integrity back!

I'm Roundin' Up a Posse

Hey, I'm tired of hearing that Jamal Tinsley of our Indiana Pacers is having all of the fun late at night while I'm home sleeping. So, I'm putting together my own posse. Look out out Indy! IndyTed is going to be cruising the streets.

First, I need a driver. You must be able to handle a Ford Fusion. It doesn't have bullet-proof glass, but it is painted black with alloy wheels even if they aren't shiny.

Second, I need a bodyguard. Someone big enough to stop a bullet. Somebody like Evan.

Third, I really need an advance man. Someone who knows where all of the seedy places exist in Indy. Club Rio is so yesterday. Besides, the roof leaks there. Stephen Jackson shot a bunch of holes in the roof.

Fourth, I need someone who can convince my wife that I was just delivering a rush order to one of my customers at 3AM in the vicinity of 38th and Lafayette Road. This will require someone who can spin a good story. "That" Guy Doyal would be ideal, but he hangs with the shuffle board crowd in Florida when it gets cold in MoTown. I need someone 24/7.

Last, I need a woman. Not any woman, but one who has no fear. I need a woman who scares the bejabbers(that's a word in Indiana) out of mortal men. I need a woman who owns the room. I need a woman that is hard to understand, impossible to discourage, and soft to the touch.

But hey, I'm already married to her. Who needs a posse?

Shawne Williams Update and Other Stuff

Guess who did not show up for their court appearance this week?

Our own Shawne Williams, young Pacer prospect, evidently did not think it was necessary. So, if the Pacers won't cut him, I think they should change his job to something that better fits his skills. He could become Boomer and Bowser's new mascot buddy. We should call him Bozo, the world's tallest and most overpaid mascot.

Bozo's main job would be to stand in the free throw lane as Boomer catapults himself over Bozo and dunks the ball. That's the way he plays defense when he has a Pacer uniform on. If he doesn't show up, we could just put one of those photo cardboard cut-outs in front of the basket. No one would even notice the difference from the real Shawne.

On a side note, IU recruit Bud Mackey, was arrested Friday for dealing cocaine in Lexington, KY. Cut him! And that is is all I have to say about that.

Belichick Honesty Test

Raise your hand if you've ever:

1) Sat next to a smart person during a test for which you were not prepared and did a little scoping
2)Driven over the speed limit
3)Used a fake ID to gain access to a bar before you were 21
4)Crossed the street in the middle of the block
5)Never committed a foul when playing Matt Rittenhouse in basketball
6)Called in sick when you just did not want to go to work
7)Told a friend you'd pay 'em back and never did
8)Said how sorry you were for embarrassing your entire organization and promise to never do it again(until you play the Colts)
9)Faked an orgasm (girls only-guys can't fake it)
10)Did not pay a parking ticket

Let's see how you scored.

0-4 What year did you become an Eagle Scout?
5-7 Which fraternity were you in?
8-9 Has anyone ever invited you to attend church?
10 (perfect score) Nice to meet you Bill.

More on the Bill Belichick scandal...

Pathetic Pacer Behavior

Can you believe it? Another Pacer has been arrested. The reason he was pulled over sounded a bit lame, but when the officer smelled marijuana, she gave he and his buddies the full treatment. Pardon me for being behind on my illegal drug terms, but the officer found a "blunt" in the ashtray. Upon further inspection she found a stolen gun in the back seat that belonged to one of his buddies.

What in heaven's name was he thinking? He was out in a bad neighborhood in the middle of the night with an illegal substance and a stolen gun in his vehicle. Nothing!

Cut him now! Do not suspend him. Cut him! He's too stupid to be a millionaire.

If the Pacers keep him, they deserve to play in their rent-free arena with nobody present. Why would you pay up to $400 to watch a bunch of spoiled thugs?

Besides, we'll need Conseco to store all of the surplus corn when the grain elevators fill up in October. At least the city would make some money doing that.

The Amazing Peyton

I was in attendance at the Colts game last night. Unbelievable. I have seen a number of extremely talented people in my days. And I am not just talking about athletes. I'm including everyone regardless of their profession. Peyton Manning made plays that not only required physical skills, he was totally prepared for whatever the Saints could throw at him. They were sitting ducks.

Turkeys have had better chances on Thanksgiving Day.

It is such a pleasure to be a witness of such greatness. Here's a little bit on Peyton's "Tunnel Vision:"

2007 IU Football Forecast

Normally, I share my predictions of IU football with my sons and a couple of weak-kneed brother-in-laws who hop on the bandwagon of any team that has five wins by mid-season.

Anyway, here goes.

No need to pick the Indiana State game. It was a yawner. 55-7

Western Michigan should be a tougher game on the road, but IU will prevail by 10.

Akron at home on Sept. 15th should be another snoozer. Is Jerry Faust still the coach? IU by 20 points over the Zips.

Now, we slide into the Big $1.10 schedule. Look for a scoring fest in Iowa. There will be over a thousand yards of total offense in the game as the Hoosiers win 38-35. The Hoosiers will play inspired because they will mistake the Hawkeyes for the Boilermakers. How many teams in the country have ugly uniforms anyway?

Illinois has even uglier uniforms, but the Illini are getting better. In spite of the improvement, IU wins at home by three after missing two chip shots inside the 15 yard line. Hey, It's a W!

Bet the house on the Minnesota game October 6th. The Gophers suck at Indiana. The last time I remember Minnesota winning at Indiana, Tony Dungy was the QB. However, if Tony gives a pep talk to the Gophers before the game, the Hoosiers lose big.

Now, the Hoosiers go on the road to MSU. Normally, the Hoosiers wouldn't have a chance, but one of my weak-kneed brother-in-laws will be at the game wearing red while secretly cheering for the Spartans. His favorite team always loses, so the Hoosiers win as the crowd boos my brother-in-law.

Wait a minute. Are the Hoosiers 7-0 ? Not for long. I'll be in a nursing home and Joe Pa will still be coaching before the Big Red wins in Happy Valley. They'd better take the bus home. The DC-3 is leaking oil.

Now the Hoosiers travel up to Madison to take on the Badgers. We get murdered. I just hope we can put a respectable team on the field next week against Ball State.

Here is where it really gets ugly. Coach Lynch couldn't win at Ball State and he will not have enough of a team left to win in Bloomington on November 3rd. Decimated by injuries, the Hoosiers will lose 7-6 on a miserable day after missing their 10th extra point of the season.

How can you lose to a team with purple uniforms worn by future millionaires? IU sneaks by Northwestern after the Mildcats miss a school record of 5 field goals. Their kicker must be related to IU's kicker. They hug at the 50 yard line after the game.

Well, the Hurryin' Hoosiers are 8-3 and three bowl committees are in the press box. Can the Big Red win, go to a bowl in Florida, and play on December 31st. I don't think so. By now, we are so riddled with injuries, one of the DZ's is our starting left tackle and Don Fisher is so sick, he leaves the press box for the first time in 35 years to chunk out the back window. I hope there aren't any kids on the anti-aircraft guns.

So, the Hoosiers finish 8-4. We play Missouri in the Independence Bowl the day after Christmas. Bill Lynch gets a new contract and we finish fifth in the Big $1.10.

It's been a pretty good year.

Here's a video recap of the training camp last Spring. Let me know how you think the season will turn out.

Big $1.10 Network

I wonder if we will ever see IU Hoosier football on television again. There is a standoff between the Big Ten Network and everyone's favorite cable provider. Fox has contracted with the Big Ten to broadcast all of the "leftover" games and non-revenue sports that the national networks do not want.

The price? A buck-ten a month. The cable systems do not want to absorb it and the Big Ten does not want them to pass it on to the cable customers. Each school will receive $7.5 million a year from the deal, so they are not talking. Cable wants everyone to pressure the Big Ten to back off the price and the Network thinks we should do the opposite and squeeze the cable companies to pay up. Or, you can buy Direct TV which is owned by Fox and led by the evil Rupert Murdoch.

Personally, I am going to buy a ticket to the games I can attend. The Hoosiers are improved and there aren't many things better than spending a fall afternoon in Bloomington. If I can't be there, I'll listen to Don Fisher for free on the web. Unless, XM Radio buys the radio rights. Rupert controls that, too.

What Does It Cost to NOT Go to a Colts Game?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE NFL football. I just do not like to pay for it when I am not at the game. I earn the right to watch it for free when I have to endure nearly two hours of commercials for every game on the tube.

For starters, the new Lucas Oil Stadium will cost around $725 million before interest, cost overruns, and maintenance. To give you a round number, that will end up costing approximately $2 billion dollars over the next two decades. If you break that down on a per capita basis, it adds up to $1,300.00 for every man, woman, and child who is living in metro Indy.

Also, thank Bart for giving the Colts all of the revenue generated by the new stadium during Colts games and half of the parking and concession revenue for non-Colts events like the NCAA finals that will be here in a couple of years. It would have been nice to use those monies to lower our property taxes, but Jimmy needed the cash.

The Pacers received a similar deal, but it was cheap compared to the Colts. The Conseco deal is only going to cost us about $500 million. This assumes that the city will not refinance the venues. When they blew up Market Square Arena we still owed $8 million on it. Even worse, when they implode The Hoosier Dome (RCA is effectively out of business) we will owe about $46 million on a stadium the city built at a net cost of about $40 million due to the generosity of the Lilly & Krannert Endowments.

So, Indianapolis keep eating out every night. Two percent of your purchases will go to paying off the bonds while Mr. Irsay takes home the cash.