It's Only the Beginning

When you stop to think about it, you can break down your life into chunks-youth, work life, and everything else after that.

I don't remember starting my youth. I just became aware one day that I existed. There were rules, and I was breaking them. School was challenging yet things came to me with relative ease. I never had much money only to realize I had everything I needed. I guess my largest obstacle was finding my soul mate and lo and behold she arrived two months after I started to work. It may sound like I am simplifying things, but this is a blog-not a book.

At the age of twenty-one I started to really work for a living. I always had jobs, but that was just for mad money. This time it was for real. I needed to pay my own way. There wasn't a lifeline back to Mom and Dad when I was short a few bucks. It was stressful to learn a career, pay the bills, and be madly in love all at the same time. Then, before I can say "Jack Sprat", I'm married with three kids. Guys are built to take on things one at a time. That's at least four things! Once again, I'm simplifying, but that's another book.

Fast forward to today. I'm retiring this afternoon. I have handed off all of my work to others, it's 3PM, and I have two more hours to go. Come 5 o'clock, I will turn in my car keys and credit cards, but I'll hold onto my cell until it stops ringing. What now? What in the Sam Hill am I going to do with the last chunk of my life? I have some ideas like mentoring some of the kids who find it unnecessary to finish school, aka...life chunk numero uno. I will need to change my perspective from "Leave it to Beaver" to "South Park". It's a big shift from the Beav and Wally breaking a window to Kenny getting killed every week.

Should be interesting. And, it's only the beginning.

What I Live With!

It was our first Sunday morning in months to relax. A morning to take it easy...lay low, goof off, do whatever! So in total relaxed form, I climbed out of bed, put on my most comfortable, scrubby clothes and found my way downstairs.

To immediately get this remark from Ted..."you look like Conway Twitty"! Followed by that dreaded Dreyer chuckle...followed by an online look-up of Conway...and sure enough...my hair is a dead match! I need a haircut...FAST!

What I live with!

So Long...Farewell... Auf Wiedersehen...Good Bye!

Pardon the indulgence, but this post is about me. I've come to that moment where I'm fully cooked. Stick a fork in me. I'm done! Selling printing supplies and equipment just doesn't instill the "thrill of victory" in me anymore. The last decade in the printing supply industry overall has been more like the "agony of defeat".

Just like all industries that come and go over time, the process of putting the printed word on a piece of paper is becoming dangerous to your wealth. I do not need to tell you what technological wonders have occurred in the past twenty years. But all those innovations have diminished a wonderful business that was started by my father around the time of my earthly arrival, right smack dab in the middle of the twentieth century on July 1, 1950. That business, Modern Photo Offset Supply, has provided a wonderful lifestyle for our entire family over the last six decades. And, the company will continue to operate under my two older brothers as long as someone continues to read newspapers, clip coupons, mail Christmas cards, or ask for a brochure at Government Motors rather than checking out the website. So it's with lots of memories, lots of gratitude and lots of anticipation for what lies ahead, that my last day will be September 30th.

So what's next? Well, I want to do something else other than chase the buck to feel...fulfilled? Wanted? Needed? Necessary? Called? I have been thinking about it for awhile and two things I have always tried to do in spite of the occasional faux pas are be a good husband and father. Well, I'm out of kids and I'm already hitched to my one and only who says she's keeping me around long term despite my occasional mess-ups. So, maybe I can help some kid who doesn't have a father figure in his or her life. The new buzz word is "mentor", but that sounds like I would have all of the answers. I don't.

Nevertheless, I think I can help. Currently, only 22% of the males in IPS graduate in four years. That's disgraceful and probably a good place to start my new journey.

Twitter is Bringing Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

The Israeli's can't do it. Obama can't do it. Who's going to take down the Middle East nuclear punk?

Twitter? Give me a break.

Armageddon must be closer than I can imagine if all of the "sticks and stones" the civilized world can throw at that twerp can't bring him down, how can a pseudo communication app that can't pay its electric bill do it?

By using your thumbs.

Comeback Wife

Whenever one gets a diagnosis for the Big C, you start a journey that no one envies. First, you reel from the shock of hearing the word, cancer. Second, you start gathering enormous amounts of information about what you are going to be dealing with, only to find out that there is nothing like actually experiencing surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.

But, what do I know? I know how much it hurts to see your lovely wife suffer. Not only did she need to endure the physical symptoms of the treatment dealt by "modern medicine", but I also witnessed the treatment sapping her energy. However, cancer treatment was no match for her drive. She might have paused to reflect on her situation, might have been a bit slow to rise in the morning after chemo, and might have taken a nap during radiation. But, she worked full-time at IU, did some consulting, made my favorite meal to let me know that I was still her "Honey", and continued to amaze her friends and family with her positive attitude.

For example, today she had an appointment for genetic testing to see if there is future risk in her extended family for breast cancer, graded papers for her graduate students, and drove to Dr. Joe, my bro the dentist, to take care of her mother who had fifteen teeth pulled. She should be home tonight by 10PM. I hope!

So, if General Motors is looking for the battery technology to power their cars in the future, they need look no farther than the mysterious energy that makes Julie's heart beat.

Things to Do in Indy on Race Weekend

First, you need to decide whether you are a true race fan or did you just come along with someone else and wanted to see if Indianapolis is the cultural desert it is perceived to be by east and left coasters. 

Assuming you are the former, there is a race going on somewhere every night. Try the Speedrome on South Kitley for the Figure 8 race. But, be very careful to not touch anything and make sure you are up to date on all of your vaccinations. And I am sure there will be some kind of sprint car race at Raceway Park. It is somehat safe to eat at the concession stand if your are taking Lipitor. Most importantly, go to the Speedway Museum at the IMS. It has an unbelieveable collection of not only racing cars from the 500, but contains some of rarest and most valuable classic cars of all time. 

If you are not a racing fan, Indy can provide all of the cultural events you would expect from a large city. Hey, it's not New York, but when the Lilly Endowment drops millions every year to support the arts, it can be a very enjoyable to visit the IMA, IRT, IHC, or the IAG. Just in case you didn't notice everything here starts with an "I" because the only two famous people  from Indiana were Abraham Lincoln and Dan Quayle. Lincoln just barely passed through on his way to Illinois and Quayle just barely passed English on his way to graduate from Depauw. 

Anyway, come Saturday night, you will find yourself in a steak house clogging your arteries while smoking a cigar, at a cookout eating BBQ, or in the Coke lot next to Georgetown Road drinking whatever the guy parked next to you has in his cooler. Everyone shares because they all brought more than they could possibly drink and are tired of carrying it around. I've never spent the night in the Coke lot, but I have seen the beginning of "Slumdog Millionaire". I think they shot some of the footage at the Coke lot.

As for Race Day, dress in layers. The temperature can feel like it changes 40 degrees from the morning until the checkered flag. Plus, there is always a threat of rain so pack a 55 gallon trash bag. When it rains at the Speedway all humanity ceases to exists. You won't care what you look like. You just want to stay dry and warm. Believe me. The trash bag works. 

You also need to plan your food for race day. It's a long day, so eat a good breakfast and pack three sanwiches,  two candy bars, your favorite chip snacks, cheese sticks,  six chocolate chip cookies, four beverages, handy wipes, 30 SPF sunscreen, and wet paper towels to clean up the bird droppings off of your seat. This list has been perfected over the past five decades. It works! 

One last thing. Do not cheer for Helio Catroneves. He should be in prison for cheating on his taxes.

Enjoy the race!

Famous Thieves

The Grinch stole Christmas.

John Dillinger robbed banks.

Bernie Madoff "made off" with billions from stockholders.

Somali pirates hijack ships.

CONgress appropriates trillions.

Marcus Schrenker ransacked annuities.

Helio Castroneves diverted $5 million to avoid income taxes.

Robert Irsay swiped his father's business and spirited the Colts away form Baltimore.

And finally, Jimmy Irsay has looted the City of Indianapolis of millions and he is going to keep it.

If Indy Could Deport Individuals....

It would start with the following...

Bart Peterson, Former Mayor

He has brought the city to its financial knees building structures for millionaires. Not only could we not afford to build them, it is apparent now that we cannot even maintain them. He argued that these venues would bring mucho bucko's to downtown Indy. Now, we are faced with additional taxes that will eventually end up in the pockets of millionaires like Jimmy Irsay, assorted Pacers & Colts who leave town with their cash when the season is over, billionaires Mel and Herb Simon, and all of the local contractors that so freely contribute a portion of their spoils back to the political parties.

Pat Bauer, Speaker of the House

Hey Pat, you were not elected Emperor. You job is to run an orderly legislative session. It was not to prevent good legislation from ever coming up for a vote by our duly elected representatives. And, Pat, I know you're from Notre Dame country, but please buy yourself a better rug for your Golden Dome.

What were you thinking when you tried to scam the IRS out of paying taxes on $5 million? You were popular, the public loved you, and you had plenty of cash left over after tax to live a life of luxury. Somehow, you beat the rap, but this taxpayer is no longer a fan. Go back to Brazil and may your right rear tire always go flat.







Bob Gregory (Channel 13), Stan Wood (Ch-8), Bob McClain (Ch-6), Chuck Lofton (Ch-13), Randy Ollis (Ch-8), Cliff Nicholson (anyone), Jude Redfield (Ch-13), Chris Wright (Ch-59, 13), Steve Bray (Ch-8), Kevin Gregory (Ch-6), Paul Poteet (Ch-6), and any other smiley optimist male who has ever tried to forecast the weather in NapTown. If I have to listen to a dismal weather forecast for Indy, let it come from a cutie like Angela, Nicole, or Crystal.

Why You Should Have A Will

Twelve years ago Conseco Executive Vice-President and General Counsel, Lawrence Inlow, died tragically as he walked into the business end of helicopter rotor. Seems he felt that his time was so valuable, driving to the airport from his office up in Carmel was a terrible waste of time.

Anyway, Mr. Inlow was a very wealthy man at the time to the tune of $180 million buckaroos. One would think Mr. Inlow, being an attorney of such largess, would have all of his affairs in order. Well, he didn't. Mr. Inlow did NOT have a will. Seems that his estate has been a series of lawsuits between his ex-wife, widow, and children from both marriages. The last item is about which half of his family has to pay for his $284,000 private mausoleum. I wonder if it has a flat-screen TV?

As a result, a large undetermined chunk of his estate has been squandered on attorney fees not to mention the value of his Conseco stock evaporated during all of the litigation.

So, for the sake of your loved ones, make your wishes known in a properly written and witnessed will. And Julie is channeling through me right now saying you also need a living will and a duly-appointed medical power of attorney! The cost is nominal and should you need any beneficiaries please leave a comment with your contact information. I will be in touch.