Twitter is Bringing Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

The Israeli's can't do it. Obama can't do it. Who's going to take down the Middle East nuclear punk?

Twitter? Give me a break.

Armageddon must be closer than I can imagine if all of the "sticks and stones" the civilized world can throw at that twerp can't bring him down, how can a pseudo communication app that can't pay its electric bill do it?

By using your thumbs.

Comeback Wife

Whenever one gets a diagnosis for the Big C, you start a journey that no one envies. First, you reel from the shock of hearing the word, cancer. Second, you start gathering enormous amounts of information about what you are going to be dealing with, only to find out that there is nothing like actually experiencing surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.

But, what do I know? I know how much it hurts to see your lovely wife suffer. Not only did she need to endure the physical symptoms of the treatment dealt by "modern medicine", but I also witnessed the treatment sapping her energy. However, cancer treatment was no match for her drive. She might have paused to reflect on her situation, might have been a bit slow to rise in the morning after chemo, and might have taken a nap during radiation. But, she worked full-time at IU, did some consulting, made my favorite meal to let me know that I was still her "Honey", and continued to amaze her friends and family with her positive attitude.

For example, today she had an appointment for genetic testing to see if there is future risk in her extended family for breast cancer, graded papers for her graduate students, and drove to Dr. Joe, my bro the dentist, to take care of her mother who had fifteen teeth pulled. She should be home tonight by 10PM. I hope!

So, if General Motors is looking for the battery technology to power their cars in the future, they need look no farther than the mysterious energy that makes Julie's heart beat.

Things to Do in Indy on Race Weekend

First, you need to decide whether you are a true race fan or did you just come along with someone else and wanted to see if Indianapolis is the cultural desert it is perceived to be by east and left coasters. 

Assuming you are the former, there is a race going on somewhere every night. Try the Speedrome on South Kitley for the Figure 8 race. But, be very careful to not touch anything and make sure you are up to date on all of your vaccinations. And I am sure there will be some kind of sprint car race at Raceway Park. It is somehat safe to eat at the concession stand if your are taking Lipitor. Most importantly, go to the Speedway Museum at the IMS. It has an unbelieveable collection of not only racing cars from the 500, but contains some of rarest and most valuable classic cars of all time. 

If you are not a racing fan, Indy can provide all of the cultural events you would expect from a large city. Hey, it's not New York, but when the Lilly Endowment drops millions every year to support the arts, it can be a very enjoyable to visit the IMA, IRT, IHC, or the IAG. Just in case you didn't notice everything here starts with an "I" because the only two famous people  from Indiana were Abraham Lincoln and Dan Quayle. Lincoln just barely passed through on his way to Illinois and Quayle just barely passed English on his way to graduate from Depauw. 

Anyway, come Saturday night, you will find yourself in a steak house clogging your arteries while smoking a cigar, at a cookout eating BBQ, or in the Coke lot next to Georgetown Road drinking whatever the guy parked next to you has in his cooler. Everyone shares because they all brought more than they could possibly drink and are tired of carrying it around. I've never spent the night in the Coke lot, but I have seen the beginning of "Slumdog Millionaire". I think they shot some of the footage at the Coke lot.

As for Race Day, dress in layers. The temperature can feel like it changes 40 degrees from the morning until the checkered flag. Plus, there is always a threat of rain so pack a 55 gallon trash bag. When it rains at the Speedway all humanity ceases to exists. You won't care what you look like. You just want to stay dry and warm. Believe me. The trash bag works. 

You also need to plan your food for race day. It's a long day, so eat a good breakfast and pack three sanwiches,  two candy bars, your favorite chip snacks, cheese sticks,  six chocolate chip cookies, four beverages, handy wipes, 30 SPF sunscreen, and wet paper towels to clean up the bird droppings off of your seat. This list has been perfected over the past five decades. It works! 

One last thing. Do not cheer for Helio Catroneves. He should be in prison for cheating on his taxes.

Enjoy the race!

Famous Thieves

The Grinch stole Christmas.

John Dillinger robbed banks.

Bernie Madoff "made off" with billions from stockholders.

Somali pirates hijack ships.

CONgress appropriates trillions.

Marcus Schrenker ransacked annuities.

Helio Castroneves diverted $5 million to avoid income taxes.

Robert Irsay swiped his father's business and spirited the Colts away form Baltimore.

And finally, Jimmy Irsay has looted the City of Indianapolis of millions and he is going to keep it.

If Indy Could Deport Individuals....

It would start with the following...

Bart Peterson, Former Mayor

He has brought the city to its financial knees building structures for millionaires. Not only could we not afford to build them, it is apparent now that we cannot even maintain them. He argued that these venues would bring mucho bucko's to downtown Indy. Now, we are faced with additional taxes that will eventually end up in the pockets of millionaires like Jimmy Irsay, assorted Pacers & Colts who leave town with their cash when the season is over, billionaires Mel and Herb Simon, and all of the local contractors that so freely contribute a portion of their spoils back to the political parties.

Pat Bauer, Speaker of the House

Hey Pat, you were not elected Emperor. You job is to run an orderly legislative session. It was not to prevent good legislation from ever coming up for a vote by our duly elected representatives. And, Pat, I know you're from Notre Dame country, but please buy yourself a better rug for your Golden Dome.

What were you thinking when you tried to scam the IRS out of paying taxes on $5 million? You were popular, the public loved you, and you had plenty of cash left over after tax to live a life of luxury. Somehow, you beat the rap, but this taxpayer is no longer a fan. Go back to Brazil and may your right rear tire always go flat.







Bob Gregory (Channel 13), Stan Wood (Ch-8), Bob McClain (Ch-6), Chuck Lofton (Ch-13), Randy Ollis (Ch-8), Cliff Nicholson (anyone), Jude Redfield (Ch-13), Chris Wright (Ch-59, 13), Steve Bray (Ch-8), Kevin Gregory (Ch-6), Paul Poteet (Ch-6), and any other smiley optimist male who has ever tried to forecast the weather in NapTown. If I have to listen to a dismal weather forecast for Indy, let it come from a cutie like Angela, Nicole, or Crystal.

Why You Should Have A Will

Twelve years ago Conseco Executive Vice-President and General Counsel, Lawrence Inlow, died tragically as he walked into the business end of helicopter rotor. Seems he felt that his time was so valuable, driving to the airport from his office up in Carmel was a terrible waste of time.

Anyway, Mr. Inlow was a very wealthy man at the time to the tune of $180 million buckaroos. One would think Mr. Inlow, being an attorney of such largess, would have all of his affairs in order. Well, he didn't. Mr. Inlow did NOT have a will. Seems that his estate has been a series of lawsuits between his ex-wife, widow, and children from both marriages. The last item is about which half of his family has to pay for his $284,000 private mausoleum. I wonder if it has a flat-screen TV?

As a result, a large undetermined chunk of his estate has been squandered on attorney fees not to mention the value of his Conseco stock evaporated during all of the litigation.

So, for the sake of your loved ones, make your wishes known in a properly written and witnessed will. And Julie is channeling through me right now saying you also need a living will and a duly-appointed medical power of attorney! The cost is nominal and should you need any beneficiaries please leave a comment with your contact information. I will be in touch.

Where's Bert?

And by the way, just who in Heaven's name is Bert? Heaven is not where she is from, but it is where she is going. I have the privilege of knowing Bert through my work...she is a customer of mine, working to order supplies for Indiana's maximum security prison near Terre Haute, Indiana.

Bert reminds me of the angel in "It's a Wonderful Life". Remember Jimmy Stewart trying to solve everyone's troubles and helping anyone who was going through a tough time? Well, he was merely a human and he needed help. That is when the "Big Guy" sent an awkward angel down to earth to give Jimmy a hand. The angel was trying to earn his wings and do you remember how you knew an angel had earned its wings? It was whenever you heard a bell ring.

The difference is Bert just wants to help for the pure joy of helping others. If you looked up "Christian" in Webster's Dictionary, you would see Bert's picture. She defines what it is to be unselfish. She always thinks of others before herself. Why? She's a Christian. I'd like to say there is more to it than that, but there isn't. She just has the most steadfast faith and expresses it with all of her heart.

As for me, I am one lucky person. You see, Bert has prayed for me, my wife, my grandchildren, and countless others. What a blessing. Oh, just by coincidence, Bert's last name is Bell.

We miss your comments, Bert. They lift everyone who reads them.

Something is Always Broken

Only once in my adult life did I not own something that was broken. That brief moment would be when I had just graduated from college and moved out of my parents' house. I also, coincidentally, did not own anything except my RCA stereo and a B & W Phillips television with rabbit ears. Life was simple. Then, my old man talked me into buying a house. Need I say any more?

I started by replacing the roof, painting the entire house inside and out, and hanging wallpaper in the kitchen which my smart ass little brother noticed had been hung upside down. Shut up! No one will notice. I'm not doing it over. Next, was the A/C. It was too hot in the house to make out with my future wife. So, I called up Love Heating and Air Conditioning to install central air. The A/C worked fine, but it was still too hot to make out. Hubba! Hubba!

Anyway, I'm getting off the subject. I have been a wonderful consumer over the past 37 years and have come to realize that most "things" have a shelf life of about 7 to 10 years before they break, self-destruct, or just aren't worth the effort to take care of anymore. You name it. I've bought it, broken it, fixed it, and replaced it.

Today, I have come full circle. I am having my A/C replaced by Love Heating and Air Conditioning because my older unit gave up after seven years. However, the goal isn't to cool down the kissing. It's her hot flashes.

It's not Personal. It's Just Business.

Ever heard that before? Well, AskIndyTed just got the business end of a stick stuck up my "you know what". Yesterday, Eastman Kodak Company terminated the company my father started in 1950 as a reseller of their products. Kodak also terminated twenty-three other closely-held small dealerships like us across the USA. They have decided to market their goodies through "Big Box" companies. The decision to whack us was made by upper management. Hey, it's "just business".

Well, the Meek's small business was started with $5,000 borrowed from a man who baked pies for a living. He was grateful for the nursing care my mother gave to his wife who was dying from cancer during World War II. He loaned the money to my father with a handshake. He trusted my Dad would pay him back. That's "personal".

My father built the business into a successful enterprise with Kodak as his flagship product line. The partnership was a win-win for both companies. Kodak was a wonderful company because they developed "personal" relationships with all of their resellers. We pointed with pride to our Kodak partnership as "bleeding yellow".

That success made it affordable for my father to send all six of his children to college. It was something he was denied due to the war and the Great Depression. He was a proud papa when we all graduated. It made it possible for me to do the same for my three sons and my wife as well, through her 3 degrees.

But, the last decade has been a mess. Kodak has been unraveling as they have tried to convert from a film-based company to a digital-imaging company. Translated, that means moving from a very profitable business model to a huge money-sucking vacuum. Meanwhile, the management team at Kodak has been completely replaced with people whose history at the company probably spans less than five years and they have very skillfully driven the stock price down to $2 per share. Bleeding yellow is a forgotten culture. Can you believe this...our customers found out and called us before Kodak did..how's that for class?

What could be the problem? Evidently, someone in Rochester thinks small independently-owned companies must be the problem. So they sent out the order to shoot 'em all!

Now, I take that "personal".