Lucas Oil Stadium Fish Tank

I was listening to a local "wacko" conservative radio station between sales calls this week. I did not catch the name of the person being interviewed, but he was a member of our local government. They were discussing the current problems with the completion of Lucas Oil Stadium (I still cannot believe they named the stadium after a lubricant) and the recent damage caused by the failure of the roof drainage system.

Anyhoo, he added more angst to my concerns for the water problems when he told the interviewer that the stadium floor is 25 feet below street level and that the water table in downtown Indy is 26 feet below street level. Have you ever had a sump pump fail in your home? Well, I have. The basement filled up with water.

It just adds one more dimension to the facility that Bart Peterson had not conceived. We could stock it with fish and have the Bass Pro Shops convention.

Things I've Been Called

Everyone has been called a number of names in their life. Here's a sampling of what I've been called.

*Ted-Which obviously is my name!
*Teddy-By the people who still think I've yet to grow up.
*Theodore-I am not a friend of Alvin and the Chipmunks.

*Mr. Meek-Usually when I owe someone money.
*Sir-When someone doesn't know my name and they want my money.

*MeekMan-In college by my fraternity brothers.

*Tim-I have no idea why.
*Tom-I must look like Tim.
*Thief-It's a burden all salesmen must bear.
*Trouble-I must have a T branded on my forehead.

*Joe-By my aunts and uncles at the annual family reunion.

*Son-By a great pair of parents.

*Gary, Dan, Dammit Ted!-It's what my Dad often called me. It's the price for being the third-born son.

*Dad-By my wonderful sons.
*Pops-Later, by the same talented young men.

*Brother-By my sibs and much older brother-in-laws.

*Sweetie Pie-By my lovely wife.
*Sweetie?-Short for Sweetie Pie when "I need you to do something".
*Pha-Short for Alpha. You need to see the movie "Day of the Dolphin" to understand why.

*Coach-By over a hundred kids who played on my baseball, football, & b-ball teams.
*Moron-By over a hundred fathers who wanted their kids to pitch, play QB, or shoot the last shot with 5 seconds left in a tied game.

*Uncle Ted-By nearly 200 nieces and nephews all over the U.S.A.
*Taxpayer-Every three months by the government.

*Woof! Woof!-When Wrigley needs to go outside.

*AskIndyTed-By my one and only reader-YOU!

Well, that's a small sampling. If I missed any, send me a comment.

Lucas Oil Stadium Water Leak Coverup

Ever heard of Pogue's Run? It is a creek that starts on the east side of Indianapolis and continues through the downtown underground before it empties into the White River. On its way through downtown it collects everything from raw sewage to rainwater. The city decided to cover it up about a hundred years ago because it smelled, bred mosquitoes, and generally got in the way of developing downtown real estate. For whatever reason, an artist painted a blue stripe on the streets and sidewalks to show its path as it meandered through the city.

So, what does this have to do with the leak in our brand new stadium which caused millions of dollars of damage? Some rocket scientist decided to build the stadium on top of Pogue's Run. When we had a thunderstorm hit last week there was a lot of runoff in the storm sewers. At the same time, there was a new source of runoff-the stadium and all of the paved areas around it. As Pogue's run reached its capacity, so also was the capacity of the drainage system for the roof of the stadium. Water(and probably sewage)actually started to run vertically back UP the drainage pipes in the stadium as the rainwater was coming down from the roof. I'm not a civil engineer, but the pipes could not stand the stress and burst into the interior of the stadium.

So far, no one has admitted what caused the water damage. They know. However, after spending over $700 million nobody has the guts to fess up to the taxpayers. They are just praying that the heavy rains are over until they can find the cash to move a long forgotten underground waterway.

Panhandler Inflation

Everyone knows that it is less expensive to live in Indy than in places like Chicago or New York. So, it stands to reason that it must cost more to be a panhandler there, too.

Well, this past weekend, the little lady and I took a long weekend getaway in Chicago. We stayed in the lovely Sofitel Hotel near Water Tower. We asked the concierge for a recommendation of a nearby restaurant as we had decided to hoof it the entire weekend. And, just like Indy, the panhandlers are lurking everywhere shaking their cups. Very few say much, but they all know how to shake the cup.

However, as we proceeded up Rush Street for our reservation at Carmine's Italian Restaurant (which BTW was wonderful), a woman sitting on the sidewalk spoke out to us as we walked by. I never make the mistake of making eye contact, but my lip-reading wife can't help herself. After we passed her I asked, "What did she say?".

"Blank check(?), Visa card(?), or $100 cash?"

She must be a Dale Carnegie Sales School graduate.

My (Baby-Boomer) Presidents

Since we have finished the presidential primaries and will soon be in the campaign for the new President of the United States I thought I'd reflect on the commander-in-chiefs since I was hatched and what I remember them for.

Harry Truman-He could make a decision even if it meant over 100,000 were going to die as a result. I can't even imagine.

Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower-Didn't do much while he was pres other than play a lot of golf. As a result, he spent a helluva lot less of our money.

John F. Kennedy-JFK had the charisma of a movie star and the sex drive to sleep with one. Somewhere along the way he pissed someone off and we lost him. I was really upset when he was assassinated. It felt like the world was going to end. But, my little brother, Joe, was born a week later and life moved on.

Lyndon B. Johnson-A mean old man who exercised his immense power in Washington to get what he wanted. He took Roosevelt's Fair Deal and ramped it up to the Great Society. That's political talk for dramatic increases in domestic federal spending. He snookered the public into believing we needed to go to war with Vietnam. It was a big mistake and it ultimately wore him out.

Richard M. Nixon-"Tricky Dick" could have been a great president, but he was a serious Rule #1 violator. He thought he was bigger than the law and he paid the price. Shameful.

Jimmy Carter-Probably was the smartest president of our time and the least effective. The country was a mess under his watch.

Ronald Reagan-This guy could flat out communicate. You wanted to believe everything he said. I saw him speak before he was president and it was something special. Nancy was kind of a pain in the ass, though.

George H. W. Bush-It's hard to know whether he was defending our interests in the Middle East or was he doing the dirty work for his Saudi Arabian buddies.

Bill Clinton-How could one person cheat and lie, yet still be so admired by everyone except his wife.

George W. Bush-Just a disaster. How could one president do so much harm to such a great nation in just eight years. We'll be paying for his mistakes for a very long time. Unlike Clinton, his wife likes him. Somebody has to.

Now, we must decide between two polar opposites trying to morph into moderates. Geez, can we have a do-over?