Things I've Been Called

Everyone has been called a number of names in their life. Here's a sampling of what I've been called.

*Ted-Which obviously is my name!
*Teddy-By the people who still think I've yet to grow up.
*Theodore-I am not a friend of Alvin and the Chipmunks.

*Mr. Meek-Usually when I owe someone money.
*Sir-When someone doesn't know my name and they want my money.

*MeekMan-In college by my fraternity brothers.

*Tim-I have no idea why.
*Tom-I must look like Tim.
*Thief-It's a burden all salesmen must bear.
*Trouble-I must have a T branded on my forehead.

*Joe-By my aunts and uncles at the annual family reunion.

*Son-By a great pair of parents.

*Gary, Dan, Dammit Ted!-It's what my Dad often called me. It's the price for being the third-born son.

*Dad-By my wonderful sons.
*Pops-Later, by the same talented young men.

*Brother-By my sibs and much older brother-in-laws.

*Sweetie Pie-By my lovely wife.
*Sweetie?-Short for Sweetie Pie when "I need you to do something".
*Pha-Short for Alpha. You need to see the movie "Day of the Dolphin" to understand why.

*Coach-By over a hundred kids who played on my baseball, football, & b-ball teams.
*Moron-By over a hundred fathers who wanted their kids to pitch, play QB, or shoot the last shot with 5 seconds left in a tied game.

*Uncle Ted-By nearly 200 nieces and nephews all over the U.S.A.
*Taxpayer-Every three months by the government.

*Woof! Woof!-When Wrigley needs to go outside.

*AskIndyTed-By my one and only reader-YOU!

Well, that's a small sampling. If I missed any, send me a comment.